I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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