I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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