You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
