Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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