i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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