so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
