John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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