There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
