Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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