after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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