So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
