This girl is more easily done than said...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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