Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
