help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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