Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
