i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
