I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I licked your asshole in confidence.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
