Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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