Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
