I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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