the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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