just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
