I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
