Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
