Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
