we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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