Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
