i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
