I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
