That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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