you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I currently don't understand fingers.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
