You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
