There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
