It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
