i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
