I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
