My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
