OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
