i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
