i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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