All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
