You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
