I didn't shave. On purpose
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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