Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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