Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
