Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It's blow job season.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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