I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
