His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
