I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
