if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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