Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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