Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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