dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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