It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
even my farts smell like vagina
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
