just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
