He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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