Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
